Cast profile

Gerald Bixby

Mental Health Patient

Gerald “Merlin” Bixby casting a spell on Dick from the audience seats.

“Merlin the Wise” never clocks out.

Velvet-draped retiree who “channels the ethers” between incense clouds and Dick's monologues.

Roll your rating — love them or loathe them?

How much do you actually like Gerald Bixby?

Hover over a die to preview the verdict.

Dice scale (1–6)

Tap a die to cast your rating and see the average score.

Average rating:
Average rating not available yet

Backstory

Gerald Bixby was once a part-time children's party entertainer and assistant librarian in Poughkeepsie, known for his cape and subpar sleight of hand. He became 'Merlin the Wise' after a messy divorce, a spiritual awakening involving burning sage in a garage, and a three-day bender at a Renaissance fair.

He now lives in an open mental health facility for retirees, in a room filled with incense, VHS tapes, and mail-order scrolls from 'The Ancient Order of Etherian Conjurers' (which appears to be a PO Box in Tulsa). He spends his days 'channelling the ethers,' his nights making YouTube videos that begin with 'Greetings, mortals,' and his sitting in the Dick and Marge audience trying to cast spells on Dick's monologues.

Gerald Bixby performs a clumsy magic trick at a child’s birthday party, proudly presenting a rabbit from his hat.
Shirtless in his dim garage, Gerald Bixby raises a wooden staff amid incense smoke, convinced of his mystical awakening.
Middle-aged Gerald Bixby writes by candlelight in his cluttered “temple,” surrounded by scrolls and a glowing purple crystal.

Personality

Merlin the Wise is 72 years old, swathed in velvet, and completely disconnected from modern reality. He speaks in booming proclamations, quotes spells from made-up grimoires, and once tried to bless a subway turnstile. He insists he’s a sorcerer — not a “magician” (“Magicians perform illusions. I wield the forgotten arts.”) — though most people remember him as that guy who used to do birthday shows with a rabbit and a folding table.

Merlin carries a wooden staff carved from a Home Depot curtain rod, wears a fake amethyst the size of a doorknob around his neck, and believes Wi-Fi is “a dark frequency of the technomancers.” He calls smartphones “soul mirrors” and refers to cameras as “the Eye of Sauron.” He watches Dick and Marge because he believes Dick is a chaotic trickster spirit and Marge is a banished oracle who has yet to remember her true name.

Barefoot Gerald Bixby preaches with raised hands in a graffiti-stained New York subway, his staff resting beside him.
Elderly Gerald Bixby livestreams a mystical sermon from his care facility room, bathed in laptop and candlelight.
Outside the Tonight with Dick studio, Gerald Bixby passionately gestures with his staff as Marisol listens, framed by neon pink light.